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Silver Sands Books

 

Hilarious book took 52 years from conception to publication

Summary:
Originally planned as a complaint about a bad sixth-grade teacher, "Stories I’d Tell My Children (but maybe not until they’re adults)" grew into a life story. Humorous memoir has received great praise from reviewers. Book is guaranteed to be at least 80% true.

Milford, CT -- In 1958, when Michael N. Marcus was in the sixth grade in New Haven, CT, he didn't like his teacher. Lots of kids don't like their teachers, but few write books about them, and few writers take 52 years to complete their books.

 

Stories I'd tell My Children (but maybe not until they're adults) has been called a male version of Sarah Silverman’s The Bedwetter, and likened to Animal House and Porky's. It’s mostly pants-wetting funny, sometimes poignant and profound, often bawdy, and always engaging and enjoyable.

It’s a collection of more than 100 stories that span 55 years: pre-school, in school, and after author Marcus had enough school. This is his eighth book.
 
Culture clash is a frequent theme. So are food, phoniness and incompetence. There’s lots of sex, drugs, and rock & roll, and even the sex and drug stories are funny. Some stories were written as revenge against bad teachers, evil bosses and crazy clients. There are stories about Marcus’ weird relatives, weird food, women he considered marrying, and the woman he did marry. Readers will even learn what his wife had to do in bed to defeat her rivals.
 
Although Michael N. Marcus is a first-year baby-boomer who grew up in the 1950s and 1960s, a reviewer said, "This book provides a hilarious look at life for people of all ages who want to roll on the floor, laughing until the tears come." Another reviewer said, "This book is so funny that I nearly peed in my pants. My girlfriend didn't think it was funny, so I got a new girlfriend." Others said, "I loved the chapter with the three-way sex scene. It seemed familiar. Was I there?" and "I was rolling with laughter. If you liked Animal House, do yourself a favor and get this book"

In addition to laughter, Marcus provides useful information. There’s a chapter to help females understand the male fascination with farts and breasts; and explanations of how Betty Friedan and Anthony Quinn made 1965 much sexier than 1964, and the differences between New York and Connecticut mommies.

Other chapters discuss the connection between Sigmund Freud and Groucho Marx, how baseball can be child abuse, how oral sex can be dangerous, what boys don't know about jockstraps and childbirth, the meaning of "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida," the disgusting secret ingredients in the world's greatest coleslaw, how a free dog can cost $100,000, and how the author conducted a test to determine if he attracted crazy women or drove women crazy.

There are four murders in the book, two failed attempts at maiming, one offer of sex from a woman who had escaped from a mental hospital, one near-electrocution, one paranormal experience, one loss of virginity with an older woman, two three-in-a-bed scenes, two episodes of paranoid delusion and two frustrating encounters between a horny heterosexual male and lesbians. These stories are all funny, and guaranteed to be at least 80% true.

The book is a trade paperback with 318 pages. Cover price is $15.95. The ISBN is 978-0-9816617-5-9. It is published by Silver Sands Books and available from most booksellers, terrestrial and online.
  

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Note to journalists and reviewers: review copies are available from the publisher. Call 1.888.225.3999.