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Paperback ISBN: 978-0-9988835-4-0
Did you really hear what you think you heard?
Did you really read what you think you read?
Did you really say what you meant to say?
Did you really write what you meant to write?
The wrong words or unsaid words (even imagined words) can ruin a meal, end a relationship or start a war. Be careful!
This informative, important and entertaining book recounts some of the worst failures to communicate that led to disappointments, disagreements, divorce and military escalation—and provides vital advice for avoiding trouble.
Topics include medicine, marriage, military, music, media, mondegreens, law, food, business, real estate, writing, publishing, construction, signs, names, language, religion, idioms, homonyms, heteronyms, relationships, railroads and sex.
In the 1967 movie Cool Hand Luke, Paul Newman starred as Luke Jackson, a prisoner in a Florida prison camp in the early 1950s. Luke was a decorated war veteran sentenced to serve two years on a chain gang for cutting parking meters off their poles while drunk. He frequently defied the prison’s authorities and even trivial violations resulted in a night in “the box,” a tiny room with little air to breathe and little room to move.
Luke refused to observe the status order of the prisoners and ran afoul of the leader, Dragline (George Kennedy). When the pair had a boxing match Luke was severely outmatched but refused to quit. Eventually Dragline stopped fighting but Luke’s tenacity earned him the prisoners’ respect.
He later won a poker game by bluffing with a terrible hand. Luke said that “sometimes, nothing can be a real cool hand,” prompting Dragline to nickname him “Cool Hand Luke.” He became a leader of the prisoners, and escaped from the prison several times.
Luke often frustrated the sadistic captain (Strother Martin) who was puzzled and amused by Luke’s obstinacy and willingness to accept both physical and psychological punishment, which could’ve been avoided by following rules.
Anchor Aweigh (almost)
Nuclear War Against Northern Lights
Ricky And Linda
“Communications” Communicates Nothing
What Does a Sign Communicate?
Can You Understand Doctorish?
Maybe Grandsons Are Interchangeable
There Is No Communications In The Telephone Business
Sandra And Larry
Home Sweet What?
Yell “FIRE,” not “SHIT”
Idioms can be Confusing, or Fatal
Check With Mommy, And Read the Laws
The Big Blackout Almost Caused a War
Legibility Is More Important than Looking Cool
Call Who, Where?
Can a Computer Error Start a War?
Abundant Imperfections: Some Of My Favorite Failures
Maria And Stephen
When Is An Arch Not An Arch?
Jargon: Did You Hear What You Think You Heard
Can Your Lips Sink a Ship, Or Crash a Plane?
The Lawyer Was a Liar
Food Can Be Confusing
I’m Good, But Not Always Right
Opposite Or not?
Why Real People Sometimes Need To Speak Like Beverly Hillbillies
Get It In Writing
But Daddy, I’m not a Gangster
Crawdads In Manhattan
Which Way Is Up?
Yakkity Yak, Don’t Talk Back
Canine Communications (with sarcasm)
Diary Of a Couch (This May Piss Off Macy’s)
Familiarity Breeds Misunderstandings
News People Don’t Know Everything
Beware Of Linguistic Time Warps
Opposites May Not Have Opposite Meanings
Who’s Listening to You?
I Lost the Trial But Won The Case
The USA Is a Multilingual Nation
I Skipped The Trial But Won the Case
But When Is The Trial?
Verdict for the Amateur Professional, Or Maybe the Prof’l Amateur
Listen To The Lyrics (ometimes)
My Coulda-Been Wives
Is The Episcopal Church Almost As Good As Catholic?
Who’s In Charge?
Clarifying Noahide And Naugahyde
Is Christian Science Scientific?
Communicating Sex, Or Not
Premarital Communications (why I married Marilyn)
Boys Are Dumb
Michael’s Literary Gods
About The Author
Text For Michael’s Gravestone
Photo & Illustration Credits
More Books By Michael